tag

"i wanna play tag," the kid says.

fuck, shit, damn, tag. i hate fucking tag.

"ok, great. i love tag!" i respond. my smile cramps from over compensation.

the kid starts running around the yard like a head case. and he giggles. there i am, a statue with a joker grin while this kid twirls around me. if i were real i'd kick some sense into him. since i'm not i'll try and tag him then run away, but not too far or he'll get distracted and i'll die. tag is awesome.

i get him pretty easy, cause i'm big and fast and he's tiny and slow. he hates that shit and stops giggling, which freaks me out a little cause the only other people who swing their moods that hard are insane and insane people are scary.

i run from the kid, just fast enough to make him think he's got a shot at me, which he doesn't.

"you almost got me," i encourage him. which is cool cause he doesn't have me at all, and he's breathing harder, whcih makes his face all red and crazy and funny looking. i think he's really pissed now.

i stop running completely so he can tag me and chill the fuck out, which makes him giggle again.

he knows i let him tag me but acts like he just won the fucking special olympics, giggling like mad. his parents must be proud.

"i win, i win." he's rubbing it in now. sweet little guy. then he sits down, i guess we're done with tag and moving on to something real fun like digging in the dirt, which i love as much as tag.

i sit and pull at some grass like some caveman version of myself. if anyone could see me but shithead here i'd be embarrassed. since they can't i really get into it. i'm the joe louis of grass pulling, really tearing it out now. this grass doesn't stand a chance. i think the kid's getting freaked out cause he stops digging and just stares at me while i do my thing, his eyes saucers.

"come on buddy, get into this green stuff with me." i keep tearing up the lawn til his eyes start to water and his lip quivers. i never get through a day without making the little bastard shower his face, but this one's kinda impressive. so i let it all out and go imaginary badger, i'm gonna dig my way to china. he starts howling and i get it. it's one of those weird scary images you can't explain, a grown man shouldn't pull the grass up cause it's not natural and makes kids cry. lesson learned.

"momma momma," the kid's screaming now. i calm down, it's my favorite part of the day, just before i get to go home. the kid jumps up and runs into the house, leaveing me there on the ground with grass stains on my fingers and dirt under my nails.

i pull out a cigarette and light up.

puff. release. then i disappear. another day in the can