new kid

it's like christmas when i get a new kid.

i arrive in reality, shaking off a hangover. it's hot as hell, high noon, and i'm in a sweater and corduroys.

"hi." that must be the mark.

i look down hoping for an angel. what i see is a fat kid who's been dunking his head in buckets of ice cream.

the smell of rotten dairy drifts off of him.

i smile, "hey buddy, need a friend?"

he cocks his head to the side like a confused dog and says nothing.

i must be wrong, this is a mistake. the kid in front of me isn't my mark at all, just a fat kid in front of me with chocolate chunk in his ears. so i look around.

i'm in a parking lot, filled with cars. i spot a darling little girl with her mommy walking to a station wagon. she's the angel i was hoping for. there's even a bow in her hair.

i leave fats behind and go check in with the angel, my new boss.

"hiya darling, what's your name?" i even put out my hand, ready to shake and close the deal.

the girl passes me by. she must be shy. i'm an odd looking imaginary friend to pop out of nowhere dressed for autumn instead of summer.

then the tap on my back. i turn around slowly, dread on my face. there he is, holding out an empty ice cream cone, what once was mint chocolate chip. i bet, yep, there's even a ring of mint chocolate chip on my sweater where the bastard tapped me to get my attention.

there's that smile, outlined in filth.

"hi," he says again.

and then the worst part hits me. this kid is clueless and on the bottom end of social, he's going to need an imaginary friend for a long, long time.

"hiya kid, i'm merlin." i shake his slimy hand, closing the deal.

behind me, i turn to watch as the angel drives away with her mother, bow in her hair, no ice cream on her face.